Funny Stuff From Iamstrange.com, home of the weird

50 FUN THINGS TO DO IN A ELEVATOR

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dangit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Stupid motion sickness!"
19. Give religious literature to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"

THE HOW TO TELL'S

10 ways to tell if your a loser

1) You have your own name on your buddy list

2) When you realize you haven't talked to your friends in a while. In fact... 3 months

3) When your hand is your note-pad

4) You're notorious for stalking people

5) When you give your Sea Monkeys names

6) When you spend over and hour making your dog, Dog Biscuits

7) When you sample these biscuits

8) You find a finger puppet amusing

9) When you give your computer a name

10) When you teach yourself and master the art of palm reading

10 ways to know if your punk

1) You feel compelled to wear safety pins

2) You mentally put yourself in another category than with "THEM"

3) You listen to music such as, Blink182, Sum41, 12Stones or any band that has a number attached to it

4) You can tell the difference between a Punk and a Goth

5) You live in baggy pants

6) If those little sayings like, "The face seems familiar, but I still don't remember my name" describes you daily

7) You can pull off pink clothes and pigtails, in high school

8) All of your shoes have flat soles (and might even change color in the sun)

9) You wear a long sleeved shirt under a t-shirt

10) three words: pants year long

20 ways to know if you're a Geek

1) You go to websites to get kissing tips

2) You have your own name on your buddy list

3) When you can remember your 10 favorite URLs but not your own zip code

4) When you hear the little "ding" of the system chimes during your dreams

5) When you tell someone your name and end it with "dot com"

6) when someone mentions java and coffee is the second thing that goes through your mind

7) when you are asked "do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" and you have to answer: "Well, yes, I have a couple. One lives in Calgary, the other, Minnesota, the other New Zealand.."

8) When you hear a joke and the first thing that runs through your mind is "lol"

9) When you flunk english at school by writing your exam paper in HTML

10) When you make a mistake while writing something in pen and immediately you want to do a Ctrl-Z. (Undo)

(Do I fear the "10 Ways to know..." upgrading to "20 Ways to know.."??

11) When you can find the tilde (~) key without looking down

12) When you respond to "get a life!" with "what's the URL?"

13) When you leave a hotel early in the morning, and you walk up to the receptionist and say: "good morning, I would like to logout"

14) When you talk about new computers like they were fast cars...
(Oh man look at that: A pentum II 300MHZ with 128MB of ram... man that baby humms...)
- Jeff Fouchard

15) When people ask you your favorite color and you answer "#fce503"

16) When you start drooling while walking through a computer store

17) When someone you don't know calls an IDIOT a nerd and you stop to explain to them what a nerd REALLY is.

18) If your mom asks you where you put the cookies and you say you deleted them

19) 1001 110101 0010011 01101101 110110
110101101 010 01101 01101 11101 ?
0101101 011 01001 1100010 101 !!!

20) If you're laughing at #19

10 things that cause complete and utter amusement

1) Make signs reading "please use other door" and put them on every door of a building

2) Run up the "down" escalators

3) Move "caution wet floor" signs to carpeted areas

4) Sit on the side of a busy highway with a hairdryer and pretend to be checking speed limits

5) Try to call McDonalds and make reservations (haha Ive done that!)

6) Two words: Bubble Wrap

7) Order diet water at a restaurant

8) Make it a point to laugh out loud during sad/emotional scenes in movies just to piss off other people in the theatre .

9) Try to swallow your tongue

10) Superglue quarters to the floor at the mall, then count how many people try to pick them up

10 ways to freak out your dad

1) Two words: cross-dresser

2) First time driving your father somewhere - psychotic swerving syndrome

3) Get your first Tarot reading book

4) When the conversation at dinner gets silent, suddenly bust out in a monotone high-pitched laugh, and then get up and leave

5) Ask for condoms

6) Self pierce your nose with a safety pin

8) Come to him and cry that you've got your fingers stuck in Chinese Handcuffs
(For people of the older grade)

9) Be completely silent and when he asks why, write on a piece of paper " I am not speaking for 3 years to better understand my surroundings"

10) Dye your body blue before an important event, and act like there's nothing wrong with it

ahahahahahahahaha!